Saturday, September 15, 2007

Aaaaaaaand back to me!



Dude what is with this guy? I'm honestly not getting it. Someone, anyone fill me in, and then explain to me whether this Gawker report is sincere or the writer is just being a Rauch-bag *achem*


ps-Should I have Bret Easton Ellis ghost-write the script for Lohan's time in Promises, or the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Novella?

Excerpt: Splinter is wearing these new fake Nikes and I'm considering telling him that he's promoting bad racial stereotypes by wearing knock-offs. Although, he sort of has the market cornered on what East Asian anthropomorphic rats are wearing this season, so whatever. Looking too long at him trying to eat sushi with chopsticks in his paws is giving me a migraine, and D. is still not shutting up about wanting to change his color because purple looks "too faggy". Michael hasn't been home in three days and when he finally showed up he was red-eyed and sniffling, and his shell had all this graffiti that he said was an upgrade to help promote our merchandising. Might have said something at one time, but really right now I don't care enough to argue, anyway. I was on the phone with April till five last night listening her complain about how the office for her paper is "really a dump" while in the background I could hear the unmistakable sound of razors on a mirror, and the only way I could tolerate it was taking half a valium and imagining what she'd look like if I cut her breasts off.
COWABUNGA DUDE!!!

4 comments:

ariella said...

hahahahha! cutting her breasts off. that is hot. and that guy mystery? haven't you seen that show where he takes all these dorky awkward socially inept guys and turns them into studs or something? yeah it's called the pick up artist. its' kinda fucked up actually. it's like "this is what you have to say to get laid. say this lie and then this lie and then joke around and pretend that you this and this and then get hre number". it's basically a show promoting random bar hookups. gross.

Long live the New Flesh said...

DUH- I've seen the pick-up artist. DUUUUUUUH
Its not like this guy had a career before the show.

ariella said...

omg he is so not sexy at all too. if he came up to me at a bar i would probably wretch and walk the other way. like omg you can get insecure drunk sluts to talk to you somewhere dark where they can't really see your face, congratulations that IS a fucking feat.

Long live the New Flesh said...

haha, really Ariella? Cuz when I first saw his outfit I thought, "Looks like something Thorn or Jacob would wear".
Who else do I know wears GOGGLES?!??!