Man so i was sad for like half the day because of this no-more-friends-that-i-never-liked-in-the-first-place business but then i realized that its more the issue of there being this like, fatwa against me showing up anywhere that oberlin people are congregating. That hurts my feelings because....well obviously. Anyone's feelings would be hurt. But its not like i really miss people's company; my life is pretty content. No one wants to be hated though. Obviously? Though sometimes I try to specifically to like, damage relationships I have with other people, or cut them off when I'm through. I guess Im more guilty for this thing than anyone else.
Then I rememebered that I am still talking to all those people that a lot of my "friends" said I wouldn't be talking to- the reason they thought i was so much of a flake/social climber was due to the people that are STILL in my life, while the name callers have all but dissapeared. Does that make sense? Weird. I mean hell, Im still talking to a guy i dated for two weeks freshman year, but have been like, specifically not-invited to two major events in friends lives, so that's sad for me. Maybe I should self-reflect?
In other news, julian the donkey-boy was the best thing Harmony Korine has ever done, besides maybe that book "Crack-up at the Race Riots"
Now for a sleepover with Karelisa and popcorn, vodka, pills, and the Descent.
I really do love Karelisa w/ all my heart and its very weird to realize you'd rather be tearing down subway signs with a chick then going on a date with another dude.