Are you crazy? It's a very dangerous thing to do exactly what you want to do

I keep using that same damn song for my titles. GodDAMNIT its so good.
Okay so yeah, last night I caved in and did the whole "cook for someone" deal even though technically I should be flippant and trying not to impress him but whatever. I figure the day I stop falling for my prototypical Brooklyn Jewish boy with angular features and a mean streak is the day that I stop wanting to live. By the way I made spaghetti and meatballs and we drank a huge thing of Yellowtail (that Im pretty sure the liquor places in bushwick keep JUST for the white kids) and he made Vienna sausages that we gave to his great dane Parker and then proceeded to belittle each other for the rest of the night. I had a hard time knowing who his roommates were talking to because ever since I renamed this kid gregory (in honor of house, and also because Jerry is a fat kid's name) I have made the connection in my mind that that's ACTUALLY his name. I mean, its in my cellphone that way, although right now my cellphone is like, in twenty different pieces because it was thrown against a wall this morning when it wouldn't stop beeping my alarm. I took liz's suggestion and kicked him in the shins a couple times to make him limp, but it didn't really work out because he ended up tripping me and I almost lost a tooth. YIKES!
PS- since when did being an artist pay off so lucratively? Dude's getting 4,000 dollars to illustrate a jewish children's book. He's also dating an 18 year old Samolian chick and a 31 maniac-depressive, so I'm pretty sure liking this guy is about the worst idea I ever had.