I forgot to mention:

The whole cop thing. Two dudes, seriously out of a buddy cop film, blond smarmy guy and chuckling black dude, busting people outside for public urination and drunken conduct. Luckily, when they come in Im drinking coffee, not beer. I still thought they were part of the act though, since it was just that kind of night.
Drew: Uh...hello Officers.
Blond cop: Hey, are you nervous?
Drew: I said "officer" didnt I?
Blond cop: yea, we don't get that a lot. Thats why I think you're nervous.
Drew: Im not nervous, Im tired. *hint*
Blond cop: Yea, what time you get out of here usually?
Drew: Um, like, one? But this show is going on late.
Blond cop: Even on the weekends?
Drew: Im not here on the weekends.
Blond cop: You got a life?
Drew: You got it.
Blond cop: Any trouble?
Drew: (sensing these are real cops) Uh...nope.
Blond cop: Well, *writes down number* In case you ever need anything.....
Drew: (mistaking this for actually being part of an act, finally "getting hip"....in a totally innapropriate and smarmy way, holding up napkin w/ cops number) Sorry officer, I get about twenty of these numbers a night, can't promise I'll keep yours.
Black cop: *chuckling*
*both cops exit*
Steve: So what did the police want?
Drew:.......................the REAL police?

Whu-wo.