Scorsese: Ok well, we've reviewed all your resumes and videos, and I can safetly say that you, Mr. Nicholson, will be playing the old guy who is both charmingly eccentric and a mass murderer. Next up we have, lets see here, Marky Mark:
Matt Damon:
and Leonardo:
Hmmm, well why don't you guys just pick a role and STAY in it, okay? No switching lines, because seriously dudes, you all look so similar, and this film is so convulted with mixed identities anyway, we don't want to totally lose the audience here, ok? So just...STAY IN CHARACTER. Damon! Nice method acting, you totally had me believing yo were from Boston! Wahlburg! Can you curse some more? I know you are the younger brother of a New Kid on the Block, but we're going to give you long floppy hair so you're at least somewhat distinguishable from the other two. Also, because you have a third nipple and less star power, you're only going to be in a 1/3 of the film. Leo? Well, you know I love you kid.
In other news, Steve looks like he could be in one of these films, straight up. He's the second to the right:
We watched Hellraiser last night and it wasn't very scary. Puzzle boxes are so 1997.
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