Tom Chiarrella; Esquire- total douche

So Esquire's piece on the "sexiest woman alive: Charlize Theron" isstretching it a tad-to paraphrase Family Guy, Theron could win the hot body/weird face contest(which is why I guess the spread features her with hair in her face in every shot). It also happens to be EXTREMELY pretentiously written like a movie script by Tom Chiarrella, douchebag extraordinaire and Charlie Kaufman wannabe. Choice excerpt? Why SURE!

FADE IN:

A man's voice plays over the credits on an otherwise blank screen. This is the writer, speaking to himself
WRITER (VOICE-OVER)
The Chateau Marmont is the kiss of death in a celebrity profile. I see the words Chateau Marmont, and I just stop reading.
ESTABLISHING SHOT of the CHATEAU MARMONT, chichi hotel on the Sunset Strip in Hollywood.
WRITER (V.O.)
It's like opening a movie with a voice-over. Who listens?

Ooooh Tom, how meta. How riske. You dare-devil, you! I want to rape your children so it will hopefully dilute that awful gene that makes you think that ripping off Adaptation is somehow an appropriate way to conduct an interview. You grandchildren will have blue eyes and a sense of propriety.

I hate you.