Museum of Fake Art
Sorry guys, you missed it, but Chris Harris was showing some shit and it was AWESOME. The pieces-which included a shopping cart with a laptop on top that played a perpetual loop of a cow pissing, a broken scale connected to a coke can, and a gorilla on roller skates with its head smashed into a wall- all had these hilarious faux-Dadist blurbs on the walls next to them. Plus, Chris' own piece- a portrait of Jimmy Kimmel made entirely of human hair, was fucking mind-blowing.
God I wish I had pictures.
The band was cool too; Mohair Timewarp: live 10 piece conceptual lip-syncing phenomenon. WTF. Please go listen. Plus the guy is so freakin' fine.
Halway through going through the space, a cute Seth Rogen/Zak Orth (I mean, like for five minutes I was CONVINCED this guy was Zak Orth) type came up to me and told me his idea for a project- pouring red wine on the floor and pissing in the stream.
God where do I meet these winners? Its like, I wanted to keep going with that conversation, but I remembered that Jared's hair is growing out and looks better now, and he's also gone from "old grandpa smell" to "hotter grandpa smell" so I rode my bike alllllllll the way home so I could bug him more.
ps- hey y'all. I don't know why everyone feels the need to point this ou- but I am not "exactly like" Kelly from the Office.
I do not go around constantly telling guys Im pregnant to get them to go out with me again and then go "whyyyyyyy" when they say they it'll never happen. In fact, its like, exactly the opposite. Well, not EXACTLY the opposite because I don't know what the opposite about lying about pregnancy is. Um, being truthful? Yelling at your mother when she asks about grandkids? Its like HELLO, Im 23 waaaaay to young to have a kid. Unless Jared makes enough money from his new Michael Cera feature to support me and my child. Our child, Jared.
UPDATE: HOLY SHIT! THIS JUST IN! MY BOYFRIEND WAS THE BIGGEST BUTTERBALL CHILD EVER