Because I cannot remember the names of certain important holidays that I am supposedly celebrating at that moment. And I keep telling people to "stop faking their accents". Well whatever, like a ethnicity known for its drunken antics is going to fucking remember in the morning the name and address of the girl who stole their wallets while they werent looking in order to remember their names, only to forget to return said wallets later. Cab fare doesnt pay itself people, but I want to thank toothless rugby bloke for a nice, solitary trip over the brooklyn bridge that for once didnt end up with my breasts being malled.
god I think my life would be better as a Sarah Silverman episode.
Throw away your tv