This is the most amazing

I want this pillow so bad

Writing Exercises

I need to do more creative writing, so I came up with some exercises for myself:


1. Think about someone you truly despise. This should optimally be someone you know in real life, not, for example, Hitler. Now create an imaginary monologue of what they're thinking when they run into you at a party.

2. Write down a list of your favorite movies and/or TV shows. Then write down some stories involving characters meeting and doing something together. That's called fanfiction. Congratulations, loser.

3. Write a humorous anecdote from your real life experience. Did you ever read any David Sedaris? Write like him...be funny! But not so much like him that people will figure out you're cribbing sections from Me Talk Pretty One Day. But try to write like, that book, but with your own stories about meth, performance art and being the gay brother of the chick from Strangers with Candy.

4. Send a letter to yourself, from the point of view of a disappointed family member.

5. Close your eyes and imagine stuff. Then write about it. This is not the same as your dream journal, although hell if anyone else can tell the difference/cares.

6. Create a character that you've known since high school. Have a pretend chat online with them. Then create a profile for them and become Facebook friends. Have them leave you lots of flirtatious messages. After a week or so, move your status so it says you guys are in a relationship. Create narrative tension by promising real friends that you'll bring your new boyfriend around to their next party.

Sometimes you feel like Matt Berry, sometimes you're the dog

What up what up what up

Street Boners and TV Carnage and shit.

Objectum-Sexuals

"Look," she said, "no hard feelings. I just don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm done with all this fake chit-chat."

He didn't say anything. Because he was the Golden Gate Bridge.

Still, she thought, this has probably been the easiest relationship she's ever had. And she would definitely miss the sex.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," she said, rubbing his beams tenderly, "let's pretend I never brought it up."


Watch Married To The Eiffel Tower [Part 1] in Entertainment Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Mark's Life is Confusing

Weird pictures I have on my hard drive

Creepiest Video Ever?

My new favorite videos

Charlie Broker is the best:


Ronald is also the best:

Best thing that ever happened

Is Nathan Fillion this generation's Jean Paul Belmondo?

Nope.

But they are/were both extremely attractive men. And yo, Belmondo is still alive, though he looks like this.

New York, New York

John Turturro:


Salman Rushdie:


John Slattery from Mad Men:



Paul Rudd:


Jeremy Sisto:


Mario Lopez:

God I love Gabe and Jenny

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I just like pulling the lever!

Oh god I thought I made this cartoon up when I was little:

Happy Halloween soon!

I FEEL GREAT@

Babbies everywhere@ So many good commercials you guys!

Also:


Also:


Also why I don't drink anymore:

The Ben Schwartz Interview

I interviewed Ben Schwartz, the hottest Jewish comedian since Gene Wilder or Sarah Silverman or somebody else. I did it for Chief Magazine, but also just to meet Ben, who I've been online stalking forevs.

He stars in College Humor's High Times and my dad even thinks he's p. funny, even though they have never met.


ANYWAY: What's up, here is the interview link again, Ben is Jewish, here's his website Rejected Jokes, the end.

Coach Maguirk Naked With My Friend Ricky

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Hey guys, that's Ricky at the end! Butt-naked! I like his glasses. I also like Jon Benjamin a lot. I like the sound of his voice. One time Jon Benjamin and I took a picture but I ended up looking gnarly so I won't post it here.

Yo America: